Sorry, Court can’t hear you… He’s busy mashing skulls.
Wouldn't You Know It
HI. Email me. CHRISADAMSLEE@GMAIL.COM
Was in a car… Wished I could’ve gotten a better shot, but alas.
This is a funky city
Here’s the e-mail I sent telling the story of my recent apartment search DEBACLE… enjoy
To: [redacted]
From: Christopher Lee
Subject: Only because I know this will get talked about till the cows come home…Hello Everyone,
Because I’d rather tell this story once, I’m gonna do it here.
So as some of you know I’ve been trying to get an apartment with a few friends for a bit now. We finally found a place we loved and put in an application. It had been about a week (well longer than normal) since we’d heard on our status when today we received our denial claiming, “We regret that we are unable to approve your request because you did not meet our criteria. The consumer reporting agency provided us with the information on your records that in whole or in part influenced our decision.” This obviously didn’t sit well considering each of us had to ask our parents to guarantor and sign away their souls. I digress.
In lieu of this news I needed to head to their office to get our sensitive paperwork and deposits, and considering we met all of their criteria, find out why we weren’t approved. Well…
I get to the office and was met by the most visceral “we don’t want you here” feeling I’ve ever experienced. I ask to meet with someone to get back our paperwork and to see if I can find out what went wrong. I’m led into a back office with the office manager and she says this, “I’m going to give you the opportunity to tell me why you weren’t approved.” I respond, “Uhhhh…. cause we don’t have enough money?” Her retort, “No, one more chance.” Me, “Wait, what is this. Ma’am I don’t have time for this. Can I please have an explanation or just my paperwork so I can leave?” She then proceeds to pull out a sheet of paper with a mugshot on it…. Uhh… hmmm? Then goes on to tell me that the reason we weren’t approved was because they think I’m a registered sex offender in TX (6 year old boy mind you). OH GOD. Yeah, my jaw hit the floor… I nearly vomited and cried at the same time. I then, probably incoherently, try to explain to her that it clearly isn’t me.
Holy $hit…
Well, we got the apartment. They’re getting a letter. A mean one.
So, my final public service announcement: Please, all of you. Check your credit. Guard your personal information with your life. Just look out for this nonsense. Really.
Still processing…,
Chris Lee
Possibly my favorite song…
“Yellow Ledbetter” by Pearl Jam
Unsealed on a porch a letter sat.
Then you said, “I wanna leave it again.”
Once I saw her on a beach of weathered sand.
And on the sand I wanna leave it again. Yeah.
On a weekend I wanna wish it all away, yeah.
And they called and I said that “I want what I said” and then I call out again.
And the reason oughta’ leave her calm, I know.
I said “I know what I was the boxer or the bag.”
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don’t wave.
I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know I don’t want to stay.
Make me cry…
I see… Oh I don’t know why there’s something else.
I wanna drum it all away…
Oh, I said, “I don’t, I don’t know whether I was the boxer or the bag.”
Ah yeah, can you see them out on the porch? Yeah, but they don’t wave.
But I see them round the front way. Yeah.
And I know, and I know. I don’t wanna stay at all.
I don’t wanna stay. Yeah.
I don’t wanna stay.
I don’t… Don’t wanna, oh… Yeah. Ooh… Ohh…
No, you don’t know what this song means. I don’t really think I do either. BUT I can sit and listen to it all day.
Intro to HBO’s new glorious new series, True Blood.
funky, honky tonk number
Whattup Griff. Getting to see your childhood hero 6 rows up, awesome.
The Palin Mistake
Also from this article, here are the reasons why Palin is a terrible VP pick.
- She’s inexperienced.
- McCain can no longer argue that Obama is inexperienced.
- It’s an obvious ploy to lure disgruntled Hilary supporters.
- The ploy shows that McCain obviously doesn’t put America first, since he’s willing to put someone inexperienced a heartbeat away from the presidency.
- It calls attention to the fact that McCain is the oldest presidential nominee in history, since we have to take his VP pick into serious consideration.
Uh huh.
I wanna poop myself this looks so good. And then cry a little bit. Mostly because I pooped on myself but also because Jamie Foxx went retard.
Everyone loves a good blues show.
UPDATE: This entire ad campaign has been taken off the air. Apparently the public reaction was so negative Microsoft had no choice but to pull the plug. Word to the wise: Bill Gates is about as exciting as the paper bag I just threw away. Don’t use him. Ever.
Genius or just bizarre?
The ad world is all a buzz about the new Microsoft Windows commercial featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates. It’s a bit hokey, rather long, and, well, it just doesn’t make any sense. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Ad Age calls it “a classic Crispin Porter oddity” - Crispin Porter is the ad agency that created the commercial, and is known for its creativity and its ability to resurrect brands with such ads as the King character for Burger King, embracing the “tiny” for Mini Cooper, the “Truth” smoking campaign.
Microsoft had to bring out the big guns, as over the past two years it has been single-handedly rebranded by Apple in their “Mac vs. PC” ads. Says Rob Enderle, an advisory analyst for tech companies, in the profile on Fast Company, “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen a major national campaign that disparages a competitor, and the competitor just sits back and takes it.”
Well Microsoft isn’t taking it any longer, and it has brought on ad icon, Alex Bogusky, the bigshot at Crispin Porter, to help fight back. But is it working? Well, you may not think so after watching the commercial. But if you didn’t understand, rest assured - nobody did. It’s a “teaser ad” - the first commercial in a larger campaign, often “designed mainly to attract attention, and [will be] followed by other ads that explain the true message of the marketing effort.”
I look forward for what’s to come. Especially if Jerry’s featured. Apparently Microsoft may reinvent cool. Says Andrew Keller, co-exec at CP, about the ads to come, “To try to be cool is to not be cool. To chase cool, you’re chasing something that already exists, which means you’re always going to be on the wrong side of it, you’ll always be following.”
RADAR: Neel sees and takes cameraphone pictures of Michael Phelps at the Playboy Club at the Palms in Vegas
This shit is funny.
The line that most places have picked up on is a quote from a gchat that Neel and I had this morning that I passed along to Balk who wrote up the item:
“It was unreal,” says Neel. “Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over… I’ve never seen such an aggressive grip.”
Here’s what I would like to clarify though, people seem to think that Neel’s making a comment on the hand that Phelps has on the girl’s butt, but I think it’s worth translating what “grip” actually means in the nonsensical slang that our circle of friends use.
Grip in this instance is referring to the way that Phelps just walked in and procured the girls, another use would be: “Yo, grip me a sandwich from the deli” or “Did dude just try to grip my girlfriend?”
Anywho, click the link, go to Radar, refresh, repeat plz. Kthx.
